Apprentice Spellcasters (0-Level)
10 years ago
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Sunday, July 27, 2008
a new book:an autobiography of a massage therapist?
So my friend J had been telling me about a book he was reading about writing being a physical activity. We often think of it as being a mental thing, but really it is a physical thing. And like you should go out for your run even when you're not quite feeling like it, you should write when you're not quite feeling like it. Something about creating the physical habit of it. Perhaps the motor nerve memories of it. I'm not sure I understand, but... It's interesting. Because I have no Zen/Zone experience with writing. Whereas with TALKING. Goodness. I can talk for ever when I'm talking about something interesting to me. And I think sometimes if I could take my talking and edit it down, take out all my redundancies and misspeaks...I could really have something there worth listening too.
Maybe I need a recorder (oh, wait!! I've had that idea before and I do, in fact, have such a device) but then I may also need a semi-pretend audience... Hmm. My A.P. Bio teacher in high school always encouraged us to teach the Krebs cycle to our dogs. Maybe I'll begin discussing my meandering musings with my kittens.
Massage therapists have a unique perspective on people. And are uniquely credentialed because we, or at least I, spend a great deal of time in reflection. Contemplation. Or meditation. Meditation on particular people, their bodies, their minds, the interaction of the two. Teasing out, in my own mind, how do I best interact with this person to assist them in attaining their highest state of wellness. What do they need from me? Who do they need me to be?
Maybe I'll write more later.
Oh, but wait,
In a nutshell: an autobiography of a massage therapist. co-authored by two massage therapists. it's not about me on a soapbox about myself, but a dialog on or about the perspective of the human experience by (two) massage therapists. we have unique roles in peoples' lives. sometimes the first try against pain, sometimes a last resort. sometimes we see people in an intensely personal way, behind the mask they wear for their loved ones. we bridge gaps. between medical models and energy work. between the physical and the mental/spiritual/emotional. We work with tissue, but feel the heat of people, the energy of people. Sometimes people are open emotionally, sometimes they are draining to the therapist, sometimes there is a wall around someone. Intangible, yet distinctive. We speculate on the health or lack thereof of our culture at large as we witness individuals and answer peoples' questions about how they are living their lives. We are not experts in diet or spirituality or psychotherapy or medicine, yet all of these things influence the health of a person's body-mind and we assist people on their mind-body-spirit journeys of healing and self-awareness and self-development and so we understand or speculate on all these things, to varying degrees. We contemplate life and death and healing and bear witness to people's suffering and sometimes their release from suffering. What we have to offer, as potential authors, is an intimate and often ignored perspective on the body-mind organism. Our intended audience? Not other massage therapists. But average everyday people. Those people who say, oh, you're a massage therapist? That's so cool. But they don't know what it really means to be a massage therapist. There is an intrigue to people who touch people for a living, who relax people, ease their pain. Who can say, no the pain is not in your head, you have trigger points, stagnation in your tissue. That stress or anger or whatever strong emotion you experience, yes, I can feel that in your body. Yes, you are all one. We are all one.
Some specifics to possibly explore further:
-Unconditional positive regard. Three words that, upon reflection, changed my life forever. How massage school changes you. Evolves you.
-Why do people seek out massage? What need in our society/culture does massage therapy serve?
-What we learn from our clients? Those people who swear by massage and glow with health into their 60s and 70s and 80s. What else do they swear by? What are their secrets? I hear a lot of them.
-Why do I love my job? I'll answer because it's always so present to me. Because rare is the day I don't feel better after working than before. What I take from my clients is what I give them. Because I benefit from setting my ego-identity aside and focusing all my attention on the interaction between my body and theirs, where my intention is to create space for whatever healing that may occur for them, may occur.
(And Jenny is licking in between my toes...this is a little weird. Jenny is a dog.)
-And what is the mind-body-spirit relationship that we witness. How does one nurture oneself? Care for oneself? Why is this important?
---I used to think, when I was justifying the ethics of becoming a massage therapist, that if I can ease someone's pain or emotional suffering or burden, they will be more apt to be kinder to their children/spouse/anyone they interact with. And though this occurs one incident at a time, this may be the way to peace in the world. One little moment and incident at a time. The difference between eating consciously and liposuction.
---I think, perhaps, that as we become more aware of the true nature of our own existence, as we develop more our spiritual awareness, as we...explore our mind-body connection ...through being touched. When we are touched, we become more aware of ourselves. Both in the ego-sense, the boundary of, this is my skin, this is where I exist, and there the rest of the world exists. This is perhaps the first level or layer of awareness. But as we investigate and explore this further, we come to understand (perhaps?) that we aren't, in fact, defined by the border of our skin. The electromagnetic radiation of bodies, the almost annoying interplay between our subconscious minds and muscular tension, the realization that the food and air we consume influence the state of affairs of our minds and bodies, that sleep and exercise influence our mind-body health... All this may suggest that we aren't lumps of clay built by god. But that we grow from god, that we are god. That we are all one. That we all, collectively, are on a journey. You can put God in or take God out, if the word God doesn't work for you, the equation reads the same. (Btw, it's midnight madness at my house. The kittens are on a rampage.) I speculate that certain truths become evident, that some behaviors will become more natural, that one will naturally seek out a higher (not standard or quality..I see why people use the term) vibration. The ego always struggles to maintain its existence, its prevalence. Question: how does the ego exist in a kitten?
Okay, time to sleep.
Maybe I need a recorder (oh, wait!! I've had that idea before and I do, in fact, have such a device) but then I may also need a semi-pretend audience... Hmm. My A.P. Bio teacher in high school always encouraged us to teach the Krebs cycle to our dogs. Maybe I'll begin discussing my meandering musings with my kittens.
Massage therapists have a unique perspective on people. And are uniquely credentialed because we, or at least I, spend a great deal of time in reflection. Contemplation. Or meditation. Meditation on particular people, their bodies, their minds, the interaction of the two. Teasing out, in my own mind, how do I best interact with this person to assist them in attaining their highest state of wellness. What do they need from me? Who do they need me to be?
Maybe I'll write more later.
Oh, but wait,
In a nutshell: an autobiography of a massage therapist. co-authored by two massage therapists. it's not about me on a soapbox about myself, but a dialog on or about the perspective of the human experience by (two) massage therapists. we have unique roles in peoples' lives. sometimes the first try against pain, sometimes a last resort. sometimes we see people in an intensely personal way, behind the mask they wear for their loved ones. we bridge gaps. between medical models and energy work. between the physical and the mental/spiritual/emotional. We work with tissue, but feel the heat of people, the energy of people. Sometimes people are open emotionally, sometimes they are draining to the therapist, sometimes there is a wall around someone. Intangible, yet distinctive. We speculate on the health or lack thereof of our culture at large as we witness individuals and answer peoples' questions about how they are living their lives. We are not experts in diet or spirituality or psychotherapy or medicine, yet all of these things influence the health of a person's body-mind and we assist people on their mind-body-spirit journeys of healing and self-awareness and self-development and so we understand or speculate on all these things, to varying degrees. We contemplate life and death and healing and bear witness to people's suffering and sometimes their release from suffering. What we have to offer, as potential authors, is an intimate and often ignored perspective on the body-mind organism. Our intended audience? Not other massage therapists. But average everyday people. Those people who say, oh, you're a massage therapist? That's so cool. But they don't know what it really means to be a massage therapist. There is an intrigue to people who touch people for a living, who relax people, ease their pain. Who can say, no the pain is not in your head, you have trigger points, stagnation in your tissue. That stress or anger or whatever strong emotion you experience, yes, I can feel that in your body. Yes, you are all one. We are all one.
Some specifics to possibly explore further:
-Unconditional positive regard. Three words that, upon reflection, changed my life forever. How massage school changes you. Evolves you.
-Why do people seek out massage? What need in our society/culture does massage therapy serve?
-What we learn from our clients? Those people who swear by massage and glow with health into their 60s and 70s and 80s. What else do they swear by? What are their secrets? I hear a lot of them.
-Why do I love my job? I'll answer because it's always so present to me. Because rare is the day I don't feel better after working than before. What I take from my clients is what I give them. Because I benefit from setting my ego-identity aside and focusing all my attention on the interaction between my body and theirs, where my intention is to create space for whatever healing that may occur for them, may occur.
(And Jenny is licking in between my toes...this is a little weird. Jenny is a dog.)
-And what is the mind-body-spirit relationship that we witness. How does one nurture oneself? Care for oneself? Why is this important?
---I used to think, when I was justifying the ethics of becoming a massage therapist, that if I can ease someone's pain or emotional suffering or burden, they will be more apt to be kinder to their children/spouse/anyone they interact with. And though this occurs one incident at a time, this may be the way to peace in the world. One little moment and incident at a time. The difference between eating consciously and liposuction.
---I think, perhaps, that as we become more aware of the true nature of our own existence, as we develop more our spiritual awareness, as we...explore our mind-body connection ...through being touched. When we are touched, we become more aware of ourselves. Both in the ego-sense, the boundary of, this is my skin, this is where I exist, and there the rest of the world exists. This is perhaps the first level or layer of awareness. But as we investigate and explore this further, we come to understand (perhaps?) that we aren't, in fact, defined by the border of our skin. The electromagnetic radiation of bodies, the almost annoying interplay between our subconscious minds and muscular tension, the realization that the food and air we consume influence the state of affairs of our minds and bodies, that sleep and exercise influence our mind-body health... All this may suggest that we aren't lumps of clay built by god. But that we grow from god, that we are god. That we are all one. That we all, collectively, are on a journey. You can put God in or take God out, if the word God doesn't work for you, the equation reads the same. (Btw, it's midnight madness at my house. The kittens are on a rampage.) I speculate that certain truths become evident, that some behaviors will become more natural, that one will naturally seek out a higher (not standard or quality..I see why people use the term) vibration. The ego always struggles to maintain its existence, its prevalence. Question: how does the ego exist in a kitten?
Okay, time to sleep.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Our First Night Together
I'm smitten. It's true. I can hardly see past the stars in my eyes. Last night I came home and let him out of the bathroom where I'd left him to keep him safe and out of trouble. He ran around the house a bit and then I put him on my bed. He jumped off and ran around and vocalized a lot. (Like he's doing right now--I'm looking forward to his sister coming home so they can play together.) After I turned off the lights though he climbed into bed with me and started to burrow against me. I think he was looking for my nipples! Yikes! He liked being under the covers and seemed to want to go down my shirt as well, but I wouldn't let him do that. And that's how we slept, all night long, him curled up, body to body against me. Yum. He's a cuddlebug. Just like me! And he does the snout nuzzling thing that Indy used to do though not yet to the extent that Indy would. I think it comes from the nursing instinct. He purrs a lot and audibly. He seems to like to be touched everywhere. (He let me clean his ears yesterday without any fuss!) And he likes to sit on my lap, but when I'm typing he's very curious about the keys and the screen...the last 5 sentences have taken awhile...to get right. Oh! And, he grooms himself a lot, which is good because he smells a bit like a horse. Maybe that's Anti-Cruelty Center smell?He ate some kibble this morning for the first time. Yay! He's adjusting to being here. :)
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Calling forth a paradigm shift -- Yasso Day #2
So today was another day of Yasso 800s. And after yesterday's dance class, my gastrocs were killing me. Imagine if you balled up two pieces of aluminum foil, but instead of putting them in the recycling bin, like normal people would, you stuffed them into my calves and called them muscles--that's how it felt. Try running with those legs.
Even so, today went like this:
1 mile warm up jog
stretch/massage gastrocs
#1 800m 3 min 34 sec (gastrocs didn't feel so bad. but my esophagus was burning)
#2 800m ???
#3 800m ???
#4 800m 3 min 47 sec
I started to run a 5th one, but my legs just said, "nope! I think not."
1 mile cool down jog
cough cough cough cough cough...for 20 minutes or so until I'd consumed one post-run beer and one post-run pizza slice. Finally, I stopped coughing. There was a lot of particulate matter in the air today (this is the nerd speak for I inhaled shit and it embedded itself into the back of my esophagus).
Anyhow, it was 4 miles of actual run/jogging with some recovery walk/jog laps in there. So 4- 3/4 miles total. And I was happy with these times--an improvement from last week. I think my goal next week will be to get 4 repeats under 3:40, and then I'll build from there.
I forgot to bring my watch, so I don't have times for #2 and #3, I could only beg for a timer for runs 1 and 4, but I know at least they weren't worse than the 4th one. And the 4th Yasso was equal to the first one of last week, which is interesting. Again, according to Bert (or Bart?) Yasso, I'd need to run 10 repeats of a 3min40sec 800m to be at a place where I could qualify for Boston. Which is 18 1/2 weeks away. I have time to make myself cough a lot a lot.
This is all Eric's idea, btw. I'm not naturally as ambitious as this........but ambition might be a contagious thing.
Here are what my stats would need to be to make this Boston thing a possibility:
1 mile: 6:54 (yikes! This blows my mind. I can't imagine running a sub-7 minute mile.)
5K: 22:57
10K: 47:52 (7:43 min/mile pace) (Last June I did at 10K in 52:55. A lot has happened since then, so maybe this is possible.)
10miles: 1:19:15
13.1 miles: 1:45:31
Marathon: 3:40:00 (8:23 min/mile pace)
And training paces:
9:26-10:39 Long run training pace (Sounds do able, especially now that it's not 15 degrees anymore.)
7:52 Tempo Run training pace
7:20 or 3:40/800m Yassos
Dude, so on Hal's Novice 2 or Intermediate 1 training programs, when he says 5 mile pace run, is he talking about at this 7:52 pace? Or the 8:23 marathon pace? Or, should I think in terms of 7:52 because I'll have to slow down to get water and blood oranges (if Chicago would only be so generous). I don't get it. Not that I'm going to know exactly anyhow, cause I'm not running on a track or treadmill, but what's the goal?
According to Yasso, Eric's right on target with his repeats, and Matt's on track to be in the sub-3:00 marathon club, should he choose to, which means he is waaaaaay too cool to hang out with us. :p Now we just have to do this shit 10 times (that's 5 miles worth PLUS warmup, recovery, and cooldown...and this is supposed to be less than 10% of our weekly training mileage??? Hmm).
Weird how this is such a different blog than I was writing a year and a bit ago. My interest in running has shifted. Welcome in: the paradigm shift.
Now, how do I race?
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
It's almost mar-ra-thon time! :)
Marathon training season is around the corner!!!!! Yay! I'm so excited.
Just the other day I said to a client, a multi-marathoning client, that a first marathon seems to elicit one of two responses in people: "Ugh. One and done. Checked that off the list. Thank God that's over" orrrrr.....it's the beginning of a whole new obsession. I think I may fall into the latter category.
I was just reading about post-marathon recovery. Think I'm getting ahead of myself? What's that? Ahead of myself.....naw. Could. not. possibly. be. Not me. :)
Anyhow, if I were to follow the marathon training program, it would start next week. Will I? Eh. I think I'll try to do the three mid-week runs. Or, at the very least, do two of them. I might keep and eye on a couple of training plans and just make sure I'm on top of my game. I think I'll do longer weekend runs than what the training plans call for (there is that Half Iron looming in the near-er future). I think I've been a little lax with the frequency of my training, if not the distance, which is fine. I've been thinking about other things, but I'm ready to nail it down again.
Yay!
WAD tonight totally kicked my ass. I love it. But my feet have forgotten how to move fast in the last 4 months of non-dancing and this is terribly frustrating. It's like my mind knows how they should move but they just aren't listening. I think I need to get to an Ashtanga class and remember my muladhara bandha, that should help.
And. and...
I hate cancer. Will it not leave my family alone. And I'd just been thinking about pain, the chronic pain that people have and how it is so spiritually challenging. And cancer. Chemotherapy. All that jazz. It's so trying.
And I'm thinking about writing a diet/self-love book. I wonder if I could fill up a whole book with the things I think about on the subject. And if anyone would want to publish such a book. And...the really frustrating thing is that I just know I'm going to see the book I want to write on the New Books bookself at Border's in a month. This often happens. (Wait a sec, I could just spew all my ideas here..........) Hmm.
Just the other day I said to a client, a multi-marathoning client, that a first marathon seems to elicit one of two responses in people: "Ugh. One and done. Checked that off the list. Thank God that's over" orrrrr.....it's the beginning of a whole new obsession. I think I may fall into the latter category.
I was just reading about post-marathon recovery. Think I'm getting ahead of myself? What's that? Ahead of myself.....naw. Could. not. possibly. be. Not me. :)
Anyhow, if I were to follow the marathon training program, it would start next week. Will I? Eh. I think I'll try to do the three mid-week runs. Or, at the very least, do two of them. I might keep and eye on a couple of training plans and just make sure I'm on top of my game. I think I'll do longer weekend runs than what the training plans call for (there is that Half Iron looming in the near-er future). I think I've been a little lax with the frequency of my training, if not the distance, which is fine. I've been thinking about other things, but I'm ready to nail it down again.
Yay!
WAD tonight totally kicked my ass. I love it. But my feet have forgotten how to move fast in the last 4 months of non-dancing and this is terribly frustrating. It's like my mind knows how they should move but they just aren't listening. I think I need to get to an Ashtanga class and remember my muladhara bandha, that should help.
And. and...
I hate cancer. Will it not leave my family alone. And I'd just been thinking about pain, the chronic pain that people have and how it is so spiritually challenging. And cancer. Chemotherapy. All that jazz. It's so trying.
And I'm thinking about writing a diet/self-love book. I wonder if I could fill up a whole book with the things I think about on the subject. And if anyone would want to publish such a book. And...the really frustrating thing is that I just know I'm going to see the book I want to write on the New Books bookself at Border's in a month. This often happens. (Wait a sec, I could just spew all my ideas here..........) Hmm.
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Okay, so it's not a mosaic, but it's a start...And Yasso 800s, Take One!
This morning I woke up and knew I had to do something. I didn't feel like writing, so I did this instead. Yay! I think I spent thirty minutes or so on it.
This was my subject. The corner of my living room:
Please keep in mind I've never taken any drawing classes or anything. I'm a drawing baby! But it's fun!
And then Eric and Matt and I went for a run. Or, Eric and I ran and Matt timed me, cause Matt messed up his knees or legs again cause he doesn't get massages!!! (Or roll on the tennis ball.) So there are these things called Yasso 800s. Basically, this guy Bart Yasso figured out that you can predict (or train for) your goal marathon time by running 800m repeats in minutes:seconds what you want to run the marathon in in hours:minutes, and increasing that up to ten 800m repeats at the peak of your training (the week you're doing your final 20 mile run before you begin your taper). If I'm not being articulate enough to be understood and you're interested--check out the link. So today Eric and I ran some Yasso 800s.
I warmed up with 1 mile of jogging. Eric beat us to the track so he did 1 3/4 miles.
We did the first 800 together at 3 min 47 seconds. My comment, I never ever want to run a marathon at that pace. Eric, "You don't have to, this is the speed work. Remember, this isn't the marathon pace." Ah...yes. Thank Gawd. Whew! I had a scare there.
#1 800m: 3 min 47 sec
#2 800m: 3 min 52 sec
#3 800m: 3 min 57 sec
#4 800m: 4 min 2 sec
#5 800m: 4 min 17 sec (I think. And this one was brutal. Major side-stitchage.)
Eric's #2-5s were somewhere around 3 min 16-17 secs, I think. He's much more consistent than I am. And he did a #6 at 3 min 6 sec, if I remember right. 3 hour 10 min for him to qualify for Boston. It's within reach! Eric, "I'd have to change my eating habits." :)
I walked a couple laps with Matt when Eric did his #6 and then we did a cool down lap. Next time I think we should do more of a cool down jog, at least a mile. Really pump the lactic acid out.
I wonder if I could set (and have a reasonable chance of reaching it) the goal to get under 4 hours for the Chicago marathon. I wonder if I want to set such a goal. Chicago marathon is 5 months away. Hmm. I'll be thinking about it, it doesn't seem unreasonable. (Eric?) I'd probably have to change my eating habits too. :)
This was my subject. The corner of my living room:
Please keep in mind I've never taken any drawing classes or anything. I'm a drawing baby! But it's fun!
And then Eric and Matt and I went for a run. Or, Eric and I ran and Matt timed me, cause Matt messed up his knees or legs again cause he doesn't get massages!!! (Or roll on the tennis ball.) So there are these things called Yasso 800s. Basically, this guy Bart Yasso figured out that you can predict (or train for) your goal marathon time by running 800m repeats in minutes:seconds what you want to run the marathon in in hours:minutes, and increasing that up to ten 800m repeats at the peak of your training (the week you're doing your final 20 mile run before you begin your taper). If I'm not being articulate enough to be understood and you're interested--check out the link. So today Eric and I ran some Yasso 800s.
I warmed up with 1 mile of jogging. Eric beat us to the track so he did 1 3/4 miles.
We did the first 800 together at 3 min 47 seconds. My comment, I never ever want to run a marathon at that pace. Eric, "You don't have to, this is the speed work. Remember, this isn't the marathon pace." Ah...yes. Thank Gawd. Whew! I had a scare there.
#1 800m: 3 min 47 sec
#2 800m: 3 min 52 sec
#3 800m: 3 min 57 sec
#4 800m: 4 min 2 sec
#5 800m: 4 min 17 sec (I think. And this one was brutal. Major side-stitchage.)
Eric's #2-5s were somewhere around 3 min 16-17 secs, I think. He's much more consistent than I am. And he did a #6 at 3 min 6 sec, if I remember right. 3 hour 10 min for him to qualify for Boston. It's within reach! Eric, "I'd have to change my eating habits." :)
I walked a couple laps with Matt when Eric did his #6 and then we did a cool down lap. Next time I think we should do more of a cool down jog, at least a mile. Really pump the lactic acid out.
I wonder if I could set (and have a reasonable chance of reaching it) the goal to get under 4 hours for the Chicago marathon. I wonder if I want to set such a goal. Chicago marathon is 5 months away. Hmm. I'll be thinking about it, it doesn't seem unreasonable. (Eric?) I'd probably have to change my eating habits too. :)
out of a funk
Today I drank my nettles. I woke up, contemplated my life, then contemplated life some more. Eric says I've been different since last Tuesday. Too much in my head, he tells me. But tonight's the last of it. I'm done. Too much thinking and whatever has put me into a funk and it's getting old and I'm boring myself. I had a headache today. All day. So annoying. I can count on one hand the number of headaches I've had in my life, not to include my migraine-like ear-ache kill-me-now pain that lasted for days and made me vomit--that was a different kind of pain. But traditional "tension headache" pain, well, I don't get that. But my neck is really tight and this is boring to write and I'm tired.........................
Yea, so I've decided a few things. One, I want a new hobby, a new passion. It's spring (hopefully) and I want to fall in love with something. So I'm on the make for a new hobby. I probably want it to be physical, because I like physical things. But not tooooooo demanding in the way of endurance, because I only have so much time and energy and chi for those sorts of activities. Kayaking? Aikido? Both sound appealing, I'm considering my options.
Two, I want my kittens. Where are they? I hope I find them soon.
Three...well, I had a third thing, but I either don't want to talk about it or it's just late and I want to go to bed now. I forget which. But I'll say this: My friendships, to include my family members who are also my friends, are the most valuable thing in my life. I feel incredibly grateful and lucky to have people in my life who will speak the truth to me, who sometimes love me more than I love myself, who hold me accountable to my own best interests, and who set the bar in the way of loyalty. While waiting for the bus tonight I realized I'm much better off having spent my 20s making really good friends than getting hitched to someone that I was no longer even friends with, as seems to be the case in too many marriages.
(Okay, dude, I'll be optimisticpositive again. You can be pessimisticnegative...well, after your surgery. Good vibes will help you heal faster.)
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