Running in Circles - Track Run #2

I miss my running blogs. I miss having all these stats collected and paying particular attention to the nuisances of my runs because I know I'll be writing about them later. I wish I had two years worth of of thoughts and stats to play with and chart. But I don't. Because it's a pain in the ass to collect them all. And it takes time to write. :) Anyhow, it's a new season in my mind. A new beginning. We'll see.

Time: 10:15am-ish. Maybe we ran for 45 minutes?
Sunrise: 6:04am
Sunset: 7:37pm
Phase of the moon: Full moon, 99% Full

Temperature: 58F
Descriptor: Overcast, but then the sun came out and I wanted my sun glasses.
Dew Point: 52F
Humidity: 91%
Lake Temp: 48-50F. Yikes. We're going to start swimming in a little over a month! It better warm up!

Route: Around the track at Loyola. It's a 300m track. We did quite a few 300m repeats and 122m repeats and a couple 600m. We were running fast (by our own standards).
Approx Distance: Not sure.
Running buddies: Matt, Eric, Pete
Clothing: Pants I bought for Europe, blue Patagonia shirt. Once the sun came out, I wanted to take my shirt off, but didn't. The boys were wearing shorts and t-shirt. The temperature really dropped once we left ANF. Poor Matt. He looked so cold.

People tally: There were some kids running around the track. A mom and college daughter walking on the inside track, an older couple, and one man walking.

What did I eat pre-run? Multiple pieces of toast w/ Earth Balance, green tea w/ soymilk
How did I feel? Good. During one of the early 122m sprints, I think my right rectus femoris was about to cramp, but it didn't. It kind of whined the rest of the time but it actually isn't sore today (yet, I'm now writing this in Sunday). I could have run for a much longer time. My legs felt a little tired later in the day, but not overly so.
What do I like about running? Oh, it's fun to feel what your body can do.
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I'm waiting for Eric to remind me of the stats. I forget how fast we were running. If that is important, I'm not sure.

I don't have much to say. It was fun. Sprinting and running fast is an entirely different kind of thing than running long distances. Both require a strength of mind, a discipline, but in different ways. Both require a trust in the universe and in yourself that there will be an abundance of energy and ability to get you through. But I feel like I'm utilizing different discipline muscles when we're doing this sprints and fast repeats. Learning to trust my body to be able to keep up, follow through. Learning to trust my mind that it won't give up on me, make me feel like a failure.

It's helpful that I have a sense that I know I can keep going. I know I have endurance. I know I won't give up. If I set out for x miles, I know I won't quit and, say, get a on a bus or something silly. I know I'll make it back. I know I can keep myself running, keep myself moving.

But with this faster running stuff, it's like learning to trust that I have enough reserve to maintain what I'm doing now in this moment. Start at one speed. Keep it going. Maintain it. Go faster even. Run without effort. Run with your chi. Let it flow. Open your stride. Faster. Breathe. Keep it going. These things, they are more in the moment. In the moment, committing to pushing, to not being afraid of the future. Not trying to figure out precisely, not measuring exactly how much energy you'll need to get there. Not being afraid of running out. Not trying to play it too safe so that at the end you have a sense of security. Running so that at the end of it, you have exhausted your reserves. That is it. I play it safe. Always conserving energy, never really committing to giving it everything I have.

I play in life this way. Measuring, being conservative, restricting myself, not really letting myself open to the possibility of fully committing to something in the moment that requires being there, present, standing for something. Sabotaging through restricted effort, through not really expressing myself, for a fear of running out of...that thing that is your ability to cope with your current situation.

I can and do put forth a certain amount of effort to pursue goals, and I can maintain a conservative level for a long long time. But when it comes to committing to giving something everything you have in a moment and maintaining this level of commitment for the next moment and the next, I become afraid. Of failure. Of running out. Of running out of my ability to cope. I hold back. I seldom, if ever, give something my full effort, my full attention.

Huh.

I think, Eric, we need to keep doing this speedwork stuff. I think I need it. Spiritually.

Yea. And by the way, this is why I love running. It is my dharma. It's what I do.